Strip down to feel more

I’m back from a week camping in the Baja. A week without a laptop or social media. Messy hair. No makeup. Sticky all over from sunscreen. Sleeping outside. The ocean as my big salty bathtub. So good for my soul.

There is beauty in stripping down. Taking off the extra, and rediscovering what’s beneath. I love many of my “extras”. Mostly they make my life better. But in letting them go, for even a short while, I feel the joy of returning to pure raw being.

When people come to me longing for deeper erotic aliveness, I also invite them to strip down. To remove the tricks and techniques. The lingerie and fantasies. The toys and props. Even the drive towards climax. Of course, these things can make life better too. But when layered over a foundation of fear or inadequacy, they’re just bad costumes.

What costumes do you rely on in your intimate life? What would you feel if you gave them up?

…Dropping below the thoughts and fantasies of your mind, into the sensations of your body.
…Easing up the speed, tension and pressure used to create turn on, and slowing down, relaxing and lightening up.
…Releasing the ohhhs and ahhhhs fabricated to guide your partner to what you want more or less of - and instead speaking what you feel & desire directly, or allowing the thick, hot, wetness of your body be the real guide.
…And yes, even giving up climax for awhile… and discovering the subtle-to-intense peaks and valleys that exist beyond it.

Stripping down rarely exposes a void. It actually reveals the rich, pulsing, nuanced reality we crave. If you’re a meditator you’ve likely touched this place in silence and solitude. Here, you can touch it with, and in, another. And then, once you know it as your essence and foundation, you can play all you want with the extras.