WElcome…
I’m justine

MY Journey

I received my first Buddhist teaching in 1993 in the form of a book by Vietnamese Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, gifted to me by a high school friend. It talked of accessing a clarity of mind and ease of heart even amongst the most mundane or challenging circumstances of life. Reading it was an awakening to possibility for my anxious young self and I immediately knew I wanted more. It wasn’t until four years later that I first felt it in an undeniable way on a 10-day silent retreat, and ten years before I dove into deep practice. Intensive meditation gave me a solid foundation in the workings of the mind and what existed beyond its fantasies, stories and fears. I felt so much joy in the silence and solitude of retreat. It was there that I learned the power of attention, of opening to experience as it is, and coming to know its true nature.

But upon completion of a series of 2-3 month retreats, I returned to work and the world and was confronted with many of the same challenges I had before I started – especially in the realm of intimacy. Being in the mix with people knocked me off my ‘peaceful’ centre and right back to uncertainty and confusion. I found myself in a committed relationship with a partner who was loving and kind but with whom I felt an unexplainable lack of aliveness. I couldn’t access the depth and liberation I had come to experience on retreat with which I was longing to maintain contact. Honestly, no connection felt as fulfilling as the experiences I had in stillness and seclusion. I definitely did not feel free.

At that time, I had begun my training as a meditation teacher and contemplated becoming a Buddhist monastic. But instinctively I knew that in order to truly wake up I had to include the most challenging parts myself and life – that in fact they might even be the path.

At 32, while continuing my Buddhist training, I embarked on a 12 year study of the erotic. I entered with the question of whether it was possible to feel as free in the midst of connection, motion and communication as I did in solitude, stillness and silence. And let’s be honest, I came with questions about sex. I wanted to know sex – good sex, deep sex, sex that would make celibacy seem absurd, sex that showed me what sex was meant to be. This was not a theoretical exercise. The erotic is experiential. And I wanted to experience it directly - just as I experienced the nature of mind on retreat.

I trained in different erotic practices and began practicing several times a day. Because my focus in the erotic was (and is) to stay open and conscious while feeling the vastest range of sensation – from the most subtle to the most intense – my ability to remain present grew, no matter what the circumstances. I came to inhabit my body more deeply, trusting its innate intelligence, no longer disconnected from or distrusting its instincts. Rather than rise above life, or withdraw from it entirely, I developed an ease inside of it, a visceral confidence that comes with intimacy. And it was all done in connection, actually it happened because of connection. Human relating and intimacy became my biggest joy and place of discovery.

In 2012. I completed training under Jack Kornfield at Spirit Rock Meditation Center and was authorized as a Buddhist Dharma Teacher. Following 12 years of erotic study and practice, I become a board-certified Sexologist, bridging the worlds of mindfulness and the erotic. Jack, and his wife Trudy Goodman, have been trusted Dharma friends and supporters throughout my journey. From the beginning they encouraged me to forge a unique path, beyond the bounds of conventional expression. Their ongoing trust and generosity of spirit have tethered me to the essence of the buddhist realization. They remind me I have access to something the world is hungry for and to offer it.

As I began to share the integration of my Buddhist wisdom and erotic embodiment with others, it became clear that a trauma informed approach was imperative. There is so much pain in the realm of sexuality – abuse, addiction, shame, fear and delusion. I had seen much of this in and around me on my journey, and knew that pushing through these painful inner conflicts rarely led to full healing. I realized that sex requires both courageous risk and great care. I turned to the therapeutic modalities of Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems to support the nervous system and psychological healing needed for unimpeded intimacy. These therapeutic modalities have given language and form to a deep knowing I’ve had for some time - that there are no bad parts in the human psyche, all parts reveal their beauty in the light of approval, that somatic intelligence is real, and full liberation is possible inside of it all. After several years of training, they are now deeply integrated into the work I do with individuals and couples. Deep thanks to the embodied wisdom and play of my Somatic Experiencing Trainer Ariel Giarretto, and to Dr Dick Schwartz for the profoundly compassionate teaching and modeling of IFS.

My private practice now welcomes clients in person in Los Angeles, and online the world over. It’s an honor to walk with people of all cultures, genders, sexual orientations and relationship statuses as they heal and awaken intimately. Some people come for short, focussed work, others for deep long term exploration of liberation and integration. All are welcome. In addition to my private practice, I mentor new meditation teachers through Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach’s Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, assist at Somatic Experiencing professional trainings in Los Angeles, and write. A book on The Mindful Erotic is now underway.