beyond the comfort zone

What do you do when a man you barley know invites you away for the weekend? You step out of your comfort zone (at least I did).

When people come to me hungry to expand their erotic life, stepping out of their comfort zone is a big topic. We long for change, yet are terrified of unfamiliar territory. We want new experiences, but not the uncomfortable feelings that come with risk.

I know it well myself.

Stepping out of your comfort zone into the unknown, while remaining conscious and at choice, is a practice. It’s not about being comfortable, or unsafe, but safely uncomfortable.

And damn, did this invitation feel like just that. When he spoke it, I felt a big yes inside. So i said “YES…and let’s start with coffee”. And when the coffee was amazing, I said “YES, let’s go to the mountains.”

Being safely uncomfortable is about aiming for the stretch & speed in which you can let go, while staying awake to see and feel it all.

You have to know, I haven’t spent two full days with one person (outside of my family) in awhile. I take a lot of space and silence, cultivating my inner world so I can show up fully in my work & spiritual life. But that space and silence can get too comfortable. So this weekend, I spent 48 hours with this man.

It was wonderfully, beautifully, confrontingly uncomfortable. Full of joy, play and inspiring vistas (I’ll post more pics in my stories). As well as an appropriate amount of awkwardness and wrestling with old patterns. Because staying awake to see and feel also includes staying awake to see where you fall asleep. It’s not about being safe enough to get it perfect. But safe enough to learn from your imperfect actions, and not just freeze or die there.

I’ll be aiming for more safely uncomfortable experiences as a result. I invite you to do the same. Because that’s where the learning & growth is. And that’s the juice of a mindfully erotic life.