too busy for sex

Are you too busy for sex?

Lately I’ve been thinking about all the ways we avoid it. Which really means all the ways we avoid feeling.

Of course, it doesn’t look like avoidance at first. It looks like our endless ‘to do’ list. Our rush to get it all done. A very full and productive life.

It’s a life that keeps us rushing forward, without time to slow down, sense into our bodies, and receive what’s arising within. We’ve just got too much to do.

We live and breathe inside of a culture that prefers ascendant productivity, being in the ever-rising trajectory up - socially, financially, creatively, spiritually.

So I’m not surprised when women ask me, ‘what value does this er0tic thing even have? Surely it’s not that important!’ I used to be that woman. And I sometimes still catch the remnants of a ‘just keep moving’ orientation in me.

When I see it, what I most want to know is which part of me (or the woman in front of me) is doubtful. And what is that part afraid might happen if it slowed down and turned towards the body, towards er0tic sensation, towards feeling and intimacy?

Is there shame, fear, hopelessness or judgment? Most often, yes. An incredibly tender reservoir of it.

Our busyness is powerful protection from that reservoir. It keeps us moving along, just above the deeper waters. But it also creates the sense, at the end of the day, that something is not quite right. Or, just maybe, something deeper is possible.

What do you fear would happen if you slowed down and made space for your er0tic nature? What might you find there?