Intimacy with all things

From an Interview with VoyageLA November 2025…

VoyageLA: Where does your story begin?

Justine: I received my first Buddhist teaching in 1993 in the form of a book by Vietnamese Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, gifted to me by a high school friend. It talked of accessing a clarity and ease of mind even amongst the most mundane or challenging circumstances of life. Reading it was an awakening to possibility for my anxious young self and I immediately knew I wanted more. It wasn’t until four years later that I first felt it in an undeniable way on a 10 day silent retreat, and ten years before I dove into deep practice. Intensive meditation gave me a solid foundation in the workings of the mind and what existed beyond its fantasies, stories and fears. I felt so much joy in the silence and solitude of retreat. It was there that I learned the power of attention, of opening to experience as it is, and coming to know its true nature.

But upon completion of a series of 2-3 month retreats, I returned to work and the world and was confronted with many of the same challenges I had before I started – especially in the realm of intimacy. Being in the mix with people knocked me off my ‘peaceful’ centre and right back to uncertainty and confusion. I found myself in a committed relationship with a partner who was kind but with whom I felt an unexplainable lack of aliveness. I couldn’t access the depth and liberation I had come to experience on retreat with which I was longing to maintain contact. Honestly, no connection felt as fulfilling as the experiences I had in stillness and seclusion. I definitely did not feel free.

At that time, I had begun my training as a meditation teacher and contemplated becoming a Buddhist monastic. But instinctively I knew that in order to truly wake up I had to include my most challenged parts of life and self – that in fact they might even be the path.

At 32, while continuing my Buddhist training, I embarked on a 12 year study of the erotic. I entered with the question of whether it was possible to feel as free in the midst of connection, communication and motion as I did in solitude and silence. And let’s be honest, I came with questions about sex. I wanted to know sex – good sex, deep sex, sex that would make celibacy seem absurd, sex that showed me what sex was meant to be. This was not a theoretical exercise. The erotic is experiential. And I wanted to experience it directly.

I trained in different erotic practices and began practicing several times a day. Because my focus in the mindful erotic was (and is) to stay open and conscious while feeling the vastest range of sensation – from the most subtle to the most intense – my ability to remain present grew, no matter what the circumstances. I came to inhabit my body more deeply, trusting its innate intelligence, no longer disconnected from or distrusting of its instincts. Rather than rise above life, or withdraw from it entirely, I developed an ease inside of it, a visceral confidence that comes with intimacy. And it was all done in connection, actually it happened because of connection. Human relating and intimacy became my biggest joy and place of discovery.

As I began to share the integration of my Buddhist wisdom and erotic embodiment with others, it became clear that a trauma informed approach was imperative. There is so much pain in the realm of sexuality – abuse, addiction, shame, fear and delusion. I had seen much of this in and around me on my journey, and knew that pushing through these painful inner conflicts rarely led to full healing. I realized that sex requires both playful risk and great care. I turned to the therapeutic modalities of Internal Family Systems and Somatic Experiencing to support the nervous system and psychological healing needed for unimpeded intimacy. After several years of training, they are now deeply integrated into the work i do with individuals and couples.

Intimacy is an ever evolving journey throughout our lives. My exploration continues, sometimes subtlety, sometimes in great burst of intensity – all of it rich in learning. While my focus now is on helping others heal and liberate their erotic lives, my ability to do that very much comes from my own practice and integration.

VoyageLA: Alright, so let’s dig a little deeper into the story – has it been an easy path overall and if not, what were the challenges you’ve had to overcome?

Justine: If i had wanted a smooth road, I don’t think I would have chosen the path I did. There have been many struggles along the way – I’ve come to see them all as fuel for practice, learning and liberation. I’ve been provided with a lot of fuel!

It seems that as humans we love to divide. In the more extreme applications of this, things are black and white, and you are either one thing or another. In my case, it was “you are either a dedicated buddhist practitioner or a provocative erotic explorer… you can’t possible be both”. Early in my journey, a dear mentor made this clear. Upon sharing my emerging studies of the erotic, he looked at me calmly and said, “There is no such thing as mindful sexuality. This is just delusion”. My heart sank. It was the first of many crossroads at which I was forced to choose, at least externally. That mentor and I parted ways.

There is a whole world of nuance lost in this bifurcation. It really saddens me, as both mindfulness and the erotic are enriched by the beauty of subtlety and nuance. My work is about inclusion – of our animal bodies and spiritual natures, our erotic intensities and meditative calms, our depths of power and our very human vulnerabilities. There were many more times I was asked to preference one over another. I continue to value and prioritize them all, no part left out. When we’re willing to include rather than renounce, there is an undeniable depth, relaxation and richness to life. A sense of aliveness and liberation becomes available in all things. That is what I wish for all of my students and clients.

Of course, in the realm of the erotic there is also a rejection of mindfulness. People often want a quick fix to their sexual problems – a new toy, drug or position of the day. But what I practice and teach is an entirely different approach. One that requires letting go of demands, goals and fantasies, and instead learning to feel and attune deeply. While mindfulness has gained traction in many areas – business, sports, education – people are still hesitant to invite it into their bedrooms. It’s confronting to do the deeper work. The parts of us that want to perform, achieve, avoid and deny get scared. I spend a lot of time with those parts of clients in my office, so they can trust, let go and discover what’s possible.

VoyageLA: Thanks – so what else should our readers know about your work and what you’re currently focused on?

Justine: In 2012. I completed training under Jack Kornfield at Spirit Rock Meditation Center and was authorized as a Buddhist Dharma Teacher. Following 12 years of erotic study and practice, I become a board-certified Sexologist, bridging the worlds of mindfulness and the erotic.

I now work with individuals and couples to unburden the trauma, fear, shame and judgment that prevents them from intimacy with all aspects of life. The therapeutic modalities of Somatic Experiencing and Internal Family Systems are foundational to my approach, which means it’s very embodied and includes all parts of self. My private practice welcomes clients in person in Los Angeles, and online the world over. It’s an honor to walk with people of all cultures, genders, sexual orientations and relationship statuses as they heal and awaken intimately. Some people come for short, focussed work, others for deep long term exploration of liberation and integration. All are welcome.

In addition to my private practice, I mentor new meditation teachers through Jack Kornfield and Tara Brach’s Mindfulness Meditation Teacher Certification Program, assist at Somatic Experiencing professional trainings in Los Angeles, and write. A book on The Mindful Erotic is now underway.

VoyageLA: So maybe we end on discussing what matters most to you and why?

Justine: What matters most to me is supporting people to turn towards and be with all parts of themselves and life, especially the most powerful and vulnerable. The Taoists are known to say that life is a journey of 10,000 joys and 10,000 sorrows. The erotic definitely includes both. My aim is to support people to meet and heal the sorrows so they can open to and know the joys. There is so much joy available when we do.